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Sunday, September 26th, 2004

(1 thought | share your thoughts)

Subject:lookin back to what i left...
Time:2:35 pm.
Mood: curious.
My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
niccizgay2dayok goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as my twin sister.
bezerny gives you 2 light orange apple-flavoured pieces of taffy.
gawanni gives you 13 white apple-flavoured jelly beans.
indig020 tricks you! You get a piece of paper.
joleenio tricks you! You get a dead frog.
merty gives you 15 tan banana-flavoured nuggets.
monkeygurl01 tricks you! You lose 4 pieces of candy!
niccizgay2dayok gives you 9 red-orange apple-flavoured hard candies.
psychobiotchi gives you 4 yellow coconut-flavoured wafers.
rawthought gives you 3 pink cherry-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.
rkenshin18 gives you 11 light blue cherry-flavoured gummy bats.
niccizgay2dayok ends up with 53 pieces of candy, a piece of paper, and a dead frog.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

(share your thoughts)

Subject:whoa.. this is different eh..
Time:2:30 am.
Mood: curious.
My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
niccizgay2dayok goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as my twin sister.
bezerny gives you 2 light orange apple-flavoured pieces of taffy.
gawanni gives you 13 white apple-flavoured jelly beans.
indig020 tricks you! You get a piece of paper.
joleenio tricks you! You get a dead frog.
merty gives you 15 tan banana-flavoured nuggets.
monkeygurl01 tricks you! You lose 4 pieces of candy!
niccizgay2dayok gives you 9 red-orange apple-flavoured hard candies.
psychobiotchi gives you 4 yellow coconut-flavoured wafers.
rawthought gives you 3 pink cherry-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.
rkenshin18 gives you 11 light blue cherry-flavoured gummy bats.
niccizgay2dayok ends up with 53 pieces of candy, a piece of paper, and a dead frog.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

Wednesday, March 17th, 2004

(2 thoughts | share your thoughts)

Subject:ppppppplease come out..
Time:6:56 pm.
haahahahahahhaahhaahhaha i need to take a pee...

if ya sprinkle when ya tinkle ...
be a sweetie ...whipe the seatie

ahhhhhh s'gonna blowww..

Tuesday, February 24th, 2004

(5 thoughts | share your thoughts)

Subject:ahhh... jeez... wait for me life!! im comin... wait wait..
Time:11:51 pm.
Mood: rushed.
ahhh.. i never used this ..in years..
lets see here.. im 18 now.. older, maturer.. i now live on my own, pay my bills, mortages, loans ..and shit.. my insurance is overboard.. damn it .. i forgot i got a meeting.. well ta ta...
haha. imagine eh? ....well no i haven't changed

maybe a lil more blah'd.. but ya..

okie doke.. nicoooo

Saturday, January 17th, 2004

(4 thoughts | share your thoughts)

Subject:what's it take eh?
Time:12:23 am.
Mood: curious.
thumperyj95: hey
sstill learning: heyyy
sstill learning: yesss
sstill learning: you're on
sstill learning: okay
sstill learning: i got questions!
thumperyj95: shoot
sstill learning: haahha
sstill learning: oaky
sstill learning: poof!
sstill learning: ymmm..
sstill learning: lets see here
sstill learning: whats it take to be an exchange student>
thumperyj95: umm you need to be from another country
thumperyj95: LOL
sstill learning: haha'
sstill learning: awesome
sstill learning: okay
sstill learning: because
sstill learning: ya..
sstill learning: me and my sis..
sstill learning: we're thinkin about .... exchanging somewhere
sstill learning: we just dont know where
sstill learning: hahhaa
sstill learning: and ...also
thumperyj95: http://www.asse.com/
sstill learning: mom says we need to find a good family to stay at
sstill learning: so ya..
sstill learning: i said
sstill learning: okay mom
sstill learning: im goin online...
sstill learning: to find a trusting family
thumperyj95: go hceck out that website
sstill learning: haha she dont believe me
sstill learning: but.. frick
sstill learning: im gonna do it!
thumperyj95: next question
sstill learning: hmm..
sstill learning: u willin to mother us?
thumperyj95: Sure..
thumperyj95: LOL
thumperyj95: I dont think Doug and I qualify
thumperyj95: LOL
thumperyj95: If yall can cram into a one bedroom apartment be my guest..literally
sstill learning: where u at agaon
thumperyj95: Reno
sstill learning: Reno ..wheres that
thumperyj95: UNR is a good college thats where Im going in two years..after community college
thumperyj95: Reno thats in Nevada
sstill learning: awesome
sstill learning: hmm..
sstill learning: but .ya..
thumperyj95: on the west coast..pacific time zone.. below idaho and above arizona to the left of california
sstill learning: where's that near again?
sstill learning: wohaa
thumperyj95: read above..
thumperyj95: sorry read your mind
thumperyj95: LOL
thumperyj95: 3 bedroom apartments are cheap out here
thumperyj95: I dont know if it qualifys as an exchange though.. more like you shack up with us pay a little rent go to school.. that sorta thing..
sstill learning: hahaah
sstill learning: wowww
sstill learning: oooo
sstill learning: sounds good
sstill learning: i mean
sstill learning: man.. we wanna try somethin new
sstill learning: experience a lil ..
sstill learning: get out a lil ..
sstill learning: see stuff ..
thumperyj95: LOL
sstill learning: man
sstill learning: haha
sstill learning: and ..fRICK
thumperyj95: yeah I here yah
sstill learning: just getttttt that darn diploma ..
sstill learning: fax it in the mail .i dont care
sstill learning: ha
thumperyj95: get the diploma and run for the hills?
thumperyj95: ok next question..
sstill learning: ahaahah
sstill learning: reno?
sstill learning: nevade?
sstill learning: is tha t..
sstill learning: las vegas?
thumperyj95: its 8hrs north of vegas
thumperyj95: you dont wanna live in Vegas
thumperyj95: Visit it yes.. live there no
sstill learning: oh
sstill learning: and this isnt college ..yet
sstill learning: this is ..actually
sstill learning: finishin our grade 12
sstill learning: just to ..hmm.. pop yer bub!
thumperyj95: LOL
thumperyj95: Damn..and I thought I was going to get two college girls to live at my place.. shit man.. thinking about being your pimp.. fuck.. talk about bursting my bubble
thumperyj95: LOL
sstill learning: haahahah
thumperyj95: j/k
sstill learning: hahahahha
sstill learning: pimp
sstill learning: shit..
sstill learning: man
sstill learning: wait..
sstill learning: think nicole
sstill learning: what are u gettin yerself into ..
sstill learning: corruption? ...
sstill learning: bars? sex? alc ..?
thumperyj95: LOL
sstill learning: could this be ..... wrong path ..
sstill learning: hmm..
thumperyj95: bars sex alcohol.. my three fav words
sstill learning: rewind ..re.....solve
sstill learning: hahaha
sstill learning: hahaahha
sstill learning: oh shite
thumperyj95: LOL
sstill learning: im clenchin now
thumperyj95: The last message was not sent because you are over the rate limit. Please wait until sending is re-enabled and send the message again.

thumperyj95: Ok heres what YOU do
thumperyj95: you get in with a school with an independent studies program.. you can also take college coures in an independent studies class to get more credits..and get out quicker.. so get into that program.. study like mad and get out of school in 6mos
sstill learning: hmmm
sstill learning: okay
sstill learning: help me out man
sstill learning: haahha
sstill learning: seriously ..cause ya.. mom = low encouragement.. slash ...no faith .. i need crazy people like u around ..
thumperyj95: school in Canada may be tougher than here.. I have heard rumours that foriegn credits are worth more than American so you get out of school faster
sstill learning: ok ok ok
sstill learning: so ..
sstill learning: that means .. ??
sstill learning: haha..
sstill learning: break it down BITCH
sstill learning: jk
thumperyj95: Ohhh yah I like it when your rough..ROFLMAO.. Ok Ok seriously
sstill learning: foreign ? = what ..malaysia?
sstill learning: toyko?
sstill learning: haha
sstill learning: whoa ..rough ..no need for that comment there.
sstill learning: rewind ..
sstill learning: re...load
sstill learning: please..
sstill learning: haha
sstill learning: --yikes
thumperyj95: Say like to get out of school you need a total of 150 american credits.. and in canada you need 200.. the equalvilent of 150 american credits.. youd be done..
thumperyj95: yikes.. LOL
thumperyj95: sheesh..tough crowd
sstill learning: oooooh
sstill learning: shite
sstill learning: okay
sstill learning: but ya
sstill learning: wait wait..
thumperyj95: but thats an exaggeration so I dont know for sure and you cant hold me to it
sstill learning: i was talkin to my gramps n grams bout this tonight
sstill learning: they looked at me all ...... (haa.. they're dreaming)
sstill learning: but..ya
sstill learning: i kept goin eh ..
sstill learning: frick..
sstill learning: ask n ask..
thumperyj95: So I gotta question for you...
sstill learning: they say.. that ..they wont ..let us in ..because it all comes down to our ...grade.. and average student ..and shite... if that's true... we're UCKED ..
sstill learning: but too bad man..
thumperyj95: how many grades were you held back
sstill learning: i said... you dont think abuot that ..you go and get there... act all confidant and ready lal ala ..until ..you're burned in the face...
thumperyj95: what do you mean wont let you in?
sstill learning: that's when ..ya ... haha ...laugh a lil ..and... well ..look more ... beg ? ... haha ..i dont care.. we're gettin in ..and THATS final :D
sstill learning: never was held back
sstill learning: this is our only... grade..
sstill learning: english..
sstill learning: amanda needs 2 credits...
thumperyj95: huh
sstill learning: i need one..
sstill learning: unbelievable ..eh
thumperyj95: ohh thats it?
thumperyj95: fuck
thumperyj95: you can take a college course and call it done.. like physical education
sstill learning: damn ..if only we read that macbeth book ... we woulda passed lastyear .... headaches
sstill learning: haahhaha
sstill learning: ya well
sstill learning: not when yer from the choke!
thumperyj95: yeah Ii had to read shakespere it sucked..
thumperyj95: Im like WTF is he talking about?
sstill learning: ahhaah
sstill learning: haha
sstill learning: ya
sstill learning: tho thy thee?
sstill learning: ahh ..
sstill learning: church?
sstill learning: nop
thumperyj95: phew.. Im like thats english.. that dude is writting english?
sstill learning: hahaha
sstill learning: how bout ..exchangin' overseas?
sstill learning: would that be smart?
thumperyj95: WTF would you wanna do that for
thumperyj95: come down to the states and PARTY!
sstill learning: hahahah
sstill learning: ya
sstill learning: but.. ching chang chong!
sstill learning: ahh..
sstill learning: i think it'd be NEAT
sstill learning: i mean ..
sstill learning: hot weather ...rain ... monsoon ?? what the hell is monsoon?
sstill learning: i wanna learn the weirdness of ....life
thumperyj95: ok let me break it down bitch.. everyone comes to America because our economy..our job market and our capitilast society.. be your own person.. less taxes.. you work for yourself for the most part and not the man
sstill learning: haahahha
thumperyj95: monsoon.. lots of rain
sstill learning: whoaa.a.
sstill learning: rain rain ..
sstill learning: drizzl ..wizzl ..
sstill learning: i wanna ...wanna ...wanna ...... seeeeee the chinese, asian ...world
thumperyj95: LOL
sstill learning: like ...off .... those.... commercials ..with skinny.... stomache sucked in .... kids ... all ..sad with ...white people beggin for.. charity ... kinda life?
thumperyj95: freak.. Asia..too fawking crowded.. to communistic
sstill learning: haha..
sstill learning: i wanna be crowded
sstill learning: until ..
sstill learning: i ..'
sstill learning: get sick of it
sstill learning: haha
thumperyj95: LOL
thumperyj95: well you better plany yourself a course for life and stick with it..
sstill learning: haahaha
sstill learning: i know
sstill learning: plan ... = .... no surprises ... = no fun
thumperyj95: yeah well fun.. gets tiring after a while..LOO
thumperyj95: LOL
sstill learning: hahaha..
sstill learning: ya
sstill learning: i know
sstill learning: sometimes i wanna settle ..
sstill learning: soemtimes i wanna ..step on the metal ..
sstill learning: but..
sstill learning: ya..
thumperyj95: when the money runs out.. its like hmm..maybe I should have to school when I had the chance
sstill learning: i come and go ..
sstill learning: that's my motto
sstill learning: haha ya..
sstill learning: that's what my mom says
sstill learning: ahh ..
thumperyj95: Sorry
sstill learning: i wanna ..just get this damn diploma
thumperyj95: LOL
sstill learning: but i wanna ...get it in the states
thumperyj95: then come on down and get a work visa
sstill learning: even tho ... im worried.. i'll ..get distracted ..... everywhere i go
sstill learning: but still haha
thumperyj95: and work on your citizenship
sstill learning: we need a change ..
sstill learning: deperately
sstill learning: we need money.. and ...diploma
thumperyj95: Well your gonna have to find a way to anchor yourself down so you can get down to business..

Friday, January 9th, 2004

(share your thoughts)

Time:5:29 pm.
Mood:wonder wonder.
just found out im goin to school.. real real school come feb! ...so gotta practice wakin up early and ....hmmm what else... clothing doesnt matter much... just ....be there on time i guess... and smile, learn and .....return!

other than that... dinn's ready...

Thursday, January 8th, 2004

(share your thoughts)

Subject:determined, and willing... frickin time..
Time:7:38 pm.
Mood: determined.
this'll be the last update for awhile ...im hoping.. cause ya... i need to catch up on life right now ..and ya... just feel way behind.. and i start fallin in other more important things.. and.. crap, it's like living in a lake.. sometimes ya swim... sometimes yer.... back to drowning ... and ya.. i'm feelin waterlogged so ya... whoaaaa... nicole smartin' up RIGHT NOW and ---- first thing HOMEWORK.... i've already got the driving thing done... used to think that was impossible come on now.. life's easy.. breathe frick... homework.. shhmomework.. i can do it.. easy.. just a pile of papers and ink ...wow... DUHH.. not hard... frickin lazy ol bag... wake up... plus ya.. uhh.. you'd feel sooo much better if ya just done it and shut up... and jeez i seriosly know this ~ and i'll wonder what'll happen if i just got my school shite done and get in this big comfy zone of thinkational flow "maybe it'll be a serious change of gooooodness...... then i'll smile and stare at a wall for ...4 mins... then... boom.. i'll go do something else.. like get on here ---- and .... haha, nothing gets done if i ...ya.. whoa you get it eh. so ya, that's about it for now... im forcin myself to ..suck in the more spillagey me - so ya keep'r short n' sweet eh... everyone take care.. keith - we'll seriously phone ya soon --- tonight? ... nutty - you keep on drinkin coffee... thump - you keep on scaring people.. rain - keep on raining on'm contradictional thoughts.. melancart - you keep on puckerin' it up with'm full n' plump lips of ...lusciousness? ......and whoa... shar... shazzy ...shar'frickin'manda.. you YOU y o u...... keep on smiling............... I'LL be back when IM back.. n i c o l e . . . why do i see me doin this all the time, like de ja vu? .... well i wont cause im seriously outta here right now.... be strong not weak.. ewww? i mean it's just a computer.... jeez... ~p-ohoh-f~ computer = compass to directional flow? ....let's just say nomore computer ..i know where i gotta go... goooooooooooooooooooodbye to youuuuuuuuuuuuuu.... goodbye to everything that i dooo.. just to top things off... i went to bed at 9am this mornin.. since i stayed up all night talkin and it was a good talk.. and i can already smell the changes.. so ya finally drove lil sis out to the bus around 8 and... got back cleaned for an hour.. slept from 9am - 7pm tonight ... so im feelin quite fuzzy... all im thinkin now is... how much better i feel when i do get things done and how much better it feels to "give" when im not overwelmed and thinkin of overflowed incompleteness ....i'd do so much better if i just .. acted on this .... that's pretty much it for now ... so sharmanda, thanks a lot for the talk lastnight... have fun in school and ya, you're just really "there"... ....... and remember.. sleep haha... good-night = good morning = good mood = good life.
nicole frickin wilson ..happy tone
to sum this up... after this blog.. i wont be online for a long time -- dont mean im bitched up n' too cool for ya! it just means i want, need and gotta do what hasn't been done yet! ...and ya.. whats better? me takin to you all...
  • quick like'a prick...confusion occurs with the high n' low flow - (when things aren't done).. or
  • focused, relaxed, brains in gear, motiv-mode, patient, with upbeats of happiness cause i can actually FEEL happy when things ARE happy - (things are done) .... okay... haha seriously now ..... done.</code>

  • Thursday, January 1st, 2004

    (2 thoughts | share your thoughts)

    Subject:long day ...
    Time:7:10 am.
    Mood: tired.
    hey hey heyyyyyy... happpy new year! whoaaa... boom baba booom...
    .... so ya... tonight was pretty fun hhaha.. i'll tell ya a lil bita bout it ... hmmm... all started.. waking up this morning.. to a naked home once again === ME ..up? FIRST? ...never makes sense im always the last to go to bed but yaaaaa.. whoaa nutty.. so ya... ofcourse corn popped it up... i can't remember if it was today that i ....had the greasiest hair? ....but ..ya.. i think so... just blame'r on the weather.. so ya then got on here a bit ...checked out the journals, looked up some more guitar chords... then poof shar popped on and we chatted a bit, good to hear from'r it's been awhile... then after that.. oh ya she had to go cause her mom was naggin' bout books n' stuff.. so i went on ..doin my ---whoa whatta do? whatta do?--- whine around the house... britt asked me to take'r snowmachining ...and ya ya ya ofcourseee whoa.. so.. got all ..ready for that... went ----- and whoa, flipped'r a good one today, no cracked ribs or ripped organs yet tho... so we did that for a bit... until we thought of ..ohh ya we should make a rink infronta our house... shovel'r out.. and hose it down with some water ..let'r freeze over night ...and booom -- skate it up... so ya thinkin of it was awesome.. so we did start it but, ofcourse halfway through that ...another idea popped in our heads.. and we went inside.. did a lil movie thing on the video camera... and frick i hate it cause i was all in this freakin moooood to just ...edit and work on it for hours.... but turns out we're missin the chords that plug in the computer to ....jeez... do it.. so.. that sucked it up ....friggin got all ojaslfkjasldjflaskj uhh amd went down in the crawl space.. diggin thru junk tryin to find these chords ...i swear i put it in one'a those ..boxes... but ya... lookity look......i spotted somethin else i liked down there.. and started doin thatt haha... which was ...frick what was it again ...oh ya.. those baby walky talky things? ....whatcha use when ya check ta see if the babe's still breathing or ...something? i thought it'd be kinda cool if we shoved one'a the thingy's in the wall near our entrance door ...and left the other one in our room ...so .. when someone walks in.. we can check n' see if they're whispering like ..."oh man, these twins are hot.. wait til u see" ..or "there house is so ugly.." or .... just plain... mommy's footsteps... then click, boom, offline----helllllooo laundry ...sorta ...deal.. ya know? ...like backup eh! so ya.. maybe i'll work on that ...tomorrow? next week? ..next spring? ...... so after that ...we just... ahh.. well i hopped in the shower... and then mom phoned --- wow first time she called yet ..loving? so amanda's just chattin'r away ....after that ...i got the news that ...she'll be home tomorrow afternoon sometime.. but it's mom so it'll be late' ....so the plan is early wake up and straight to the shine n' shimmer ..... to make mom glimmer ...... yeee to the ..haww ..... wonder if she'll notice this stain ?... dun dun.... mr cleaaaan mr cleaaaan ....balm guy with the charm ..mr cleaaaaan mr cleaaaan .... down on grampa's farm ...ting* soooooooo... hope everyone had a goooood ol' night ... wait i didnt even explain about how we spent our new years bash ...crap haha.. ahhhh.. ya know... britt had to go to town n' babysit skyler so it was just WHOAAAA me and amanda ...... what else is frickin new .........so when roxanne came to pick up britt... we just watched'm struggle tryin to make'r up the hilll.... total stuckage... so we ran up to .. push and help'm ......but ..haha.. it's a dodge! ....so.. ya.. pushity push ..cm by cm ..i think we made an inch? so ..looked for gravel ...all we found was a board and rugs.. so we shoved those infronta the wheels .. and ahh squeals ...didnt do that much.. .aaaahhh... what do we now?.. i ran down and got bubba's cat litter ...she can hold it in for 2 days come on now.. so that worked a charm ....until we ran outta litter ...that's when we went for the bird seeds.. and chirpity chirp it worked! ...so ya... wave bye ..ya ya... and whoa back to ---- crap, where were we again? ..oh ya.. cleanin before mom gets here ....mightas well start now ..so ya... dundun ...clean ..nanana ....and ring ring goes the walky talky...
  • me-hey
  • jjjj's-whatcha's doin
  • me-ohhhh nuttin much just same ol' scrubbage..
  • jjjj's-oh
  • me-ha ya.. whatchu's doin?
  • jjjjj's-wonderin if u's wanna play that game with us at the resort?
  • me-hahaha ohhhh yaaa whoa.. what? okayy..sure... okay ..ya.. after sis is outta the tub
  • jjjj's-okay.. so we'll pick u's up?
  • me- no we can walk across the bay
  • jjjj's-okay...
  • me-blabbity bla ..see ya in jip!
  • so ya.. waited n' waited for amanda to get outta the tub... but i was gettin too bored a' that so i had to jump in the tub too.. finally when that was all done n' finished whoa, off to the evalake gang we go!
    oh ya, we got 2 tubs... just incase cause.. oh man no...
    .....so ya... we got all bundled up and walked cross the bay to the resort ....friggin moon was beaut! lit up the sky n' iiiiiiiii yi yi ....memories of ....a lotta ...good flow hit the ....brainal core... this is when i got all ....soft n' mushy ...but ...ran it off ...and things were back to normal again ...so ya, the rules of this cool ol' game was pretty funny cause ya with a pack of boys.. we were thinkin.. it's gotta be dangerous somehow.. or crazy spooky nuts.... but no.. haha just plain.. "skidoo tag" basically.. and if you're thinkin.. oh cool, so u chase people in skidoos and run'm over and they're it... well you're wrong ..cause haha i wish -- at least that'd add more rush and humor eh.. well bad humor ..but in a nice ..way haha... so ya.. whoops ..uhhhh the rules of the game.. one person on the skidoo drives around the resort... and... while the others hide and run away from the light of the skidoo..
    crap wait.. maybe this'll make it easier..
    "the object of the game is to NOT get hit by the snowmachine light"
    --- haaa sooooooo'whoa... it was all cute n' fun cause they were so.. into it and havin the time'a their live's ..and ya.. ofcourse we're all into it too ya know.. but.. ahh.. this is seriously it? ---- no danger? no chills or thrills? ...like come on now.. horror movie chilllls - edge of seatness.. maybe if we added a lil' spyin on the shizo man named morris action ~ tossin sticks at his door again and havin to run n' hide all laughed up and feelin all rebelled n' bad --- haha ---- that's where the scary movie flow kicks in..eh? the bad guy comes and tries to slaughter us down with chainsaws n' shite... gotta cut down the "better expectations" of games around here eh?...cause ya sorta lose interest fast... and then it's like... oops ...sorry boys... john james jer joe ....n' shite who was the other j ? .... jumpin jeezers... so ya... that was our 2 hours before "ball droppage" new years fun... after that.. we just ran back home and got inside ...sat on the couch ...laughed, made fun of ...things ---- then made fun of ourselves.. until... ringity ring... s to the har .....talked for a bit.. until... someone at the party she was at needed to use the phone.. so it was cool to talk for a bit... then i listened to some outcast..and keith decides to friggin blow the whole excitement... cause ahh.. we were gonna call'm just before the ball dropped as well... and ya, it just.. sucks when that happens.. he just.. beat us to'r eh...and at first i thought he was my uncle darcy (= step moms bro) =shockage for a sec... huh what why? ... but ya, no ..just "plain" keith as he says eh?...... so after that callage....peaked at the tv ..and frig whats all those flashy dots.... oh shite.. i misssed the ball droppage!? it's new years right nowww?? ..first year i forgot to scream n' count down ..maybe this'll be my goodluck jinx of future functioning focus ....."B-E-A utiful.." so ya that's pretty much it eh.... just random vibes tonight ....even tho we should be out there like most... all drunk n' crunk ..having lots of sex eh? ... haha...but whoaa.. ya.. that's a lil overthinkish right now and..my eyes are doin that squinty thing.. so ya.. maybe i should go to bed eh?.. or haha maybe im just..switchin the subject cause im to lazy to explain the boom-chucka-lucka deal....... so.. ya.. this is just the "us" in us ... as we say... and sure.. flipflops could come crashin.. haha....ohh one last thing to top'r offf... after the new years droppage and bangin pots n' pans on our front deck... we randomly dialed phone numbers we didnt know ...and said to each of'm
    "hi haha happy new years and you dont know us because we're just pushin buttons and wishin people happy new years.. so happy new years alrighty?.. cool ..haha.. see ya ...klasjdflkaskdljf click....."
    and we also found a phone number shoved away in the drawer... our long lost friend jake ...it's been 6 years ..so ya it was pretty nuts -- gettin all ... rejuiced n' renewed to the life'a today... he's finally got'm self a girlfriend that respects him... i remember when he was obsessed with erica ....good to see'm all ...happy n' cheerier? then before? ..haha... they're even all apartmented up.. with the whole loving, living life .... flow... he's got'r all figured out... ...and that's gotta be feelin good.... okie doke... goodnight
    the new you - "nico" - whew"
    "believe to achieve"

    Wednesday, December 31st, 2003

    (share your thoughts)

    Subject:hidden flow..
    Time:10:44 am.
    Mood: blank.
    i know i havent written about'r in so long but.. ya, i just hope she's havin fun and haha you can come back home anytime... i'll be here.. or somethin.. okay..
    happy new years everybody!

    (share your thoughts)

    Subject:lazy eyes.. guck still waitin to be whiped out too!
    Time:10:43 am.
    Mood: weird.
    whoa good mornin.. it's 10:32am.. i thought i'd be the last to get up cause i went to bed at 6:30am.. but my sisters are still out... so ya, grabbed me a bowl of corn pops and flicked on tomb raider: cradle of life ..or somethin, dont know why.. cause i didnt watch the first... i just wanted to see angelina for a sec... so now im on here.. talkin about my day.. and im guess by the looks of it ...it'll be a sweet snowmachine day --- it wicked snowed lots lastnight.. so it'll be great.. actually crap, i forgot ...im gonna get fixin on that seat ...where's that duck tape at? ...okie doke.. well, everyone have a ...whoa, it's new years tonight eh? ..shite... ya...
    happy new years everyone
    ...nicci outta here

    (3 thoughts | share your thoughts)

    Subject:bored bummed.... boom-bye-bee'yaw
    Time:5:30 am.
    Mood: tired.
  • name: nicole rae
  • sex: gal
  • sun sign: sagittarius
  • rising sign: aquarius
  • moon sign: pisces
  • place of birth: Thunder Bay, ON
  • time of birth: 10:15am (my twin was 10:13 slippery i tell ya)
  • and this down here.. is just spillage of our ADHD.. Read more...Collapse )
    sometimes wonder if sag's = ADHD automatically?..

    Tuesday, December 30th, 2003

    (share your thoughts)

    Subject:from music ...to ....html obsession ....oops
    Time:9:25 pm.
    Mood: weird.
    ...sometimes i feel ^ like that....
    but ya...just sittin at home with the sis ..... our goal is to get this song rockin tonight frick we got a lot on paper ---- just ........hmm where ta start .... lil bita this n' that ....outta order ahhh.. we always do this same ol' tune and it gets so uhh like jeez go away already -- rocky rock tune ...and doin that over n' over = kinda boring so we thoughta somethin funny last month, we can do some robotic dance songs like .... keyboardish roboticness ...edit'r up and stuff ...and both sing in a high pitch to low pitch ..echo'ish ...squeaker! ....Get that freaky alien harmony haha... we got the perfect lyrics too .... ya know the type'a songs that go on forever ..starts off all ... slow soft n' eased .....to ... harder stiffer n' faster ...and whoa more bass boom chh boom .... over n over ...and only using a few words ....like -- living ..living .... going going .... being being ..... haha ...repeat repeat .... dun dun .... believe believe... focus focus ... chhh chhhh ..... over n' over ...the goal is to annoy the listeners and ... whoaa .... double the twinnoyance ....hellllllllll yaawww...
    ...other than that ..we're just.....ya... sittin on the floor with all our ..scraps n' papers, lyrics, quotes of weirdness and artzy matterials scaaaaaatttered everywhere .... all musically equipped in pure thinkity. hhaaha jk... and ofcourse the good ol' fleetwood mac dvding in background for extra motivational boostage. haha...
    so ya, that's the life'a the twins for tonight - or at least.."right now" - who knows what'll change in 20 minz..
    sssooo if anyone feels like .... phoning us ....wonder if it'd be safe? .... i mean if ya killed us it was meant to be right so ..ya... screw it eh kinda bored --- 1-807-929-2183 ..........
    and if she rings n rings n ringity rings... just leave somethin nutty on the message beeper.... and we'll try guessin who you are... and ..that'd be just whoa so much fun eh .... yaaaaaa ..so ya... do ittttttt.. or we'll just automatically think ya chickened out in shydom!
    ...aww dont be scared haha
    accomplished today?
  • fixed the pull chord on the snowmachine
  • actually thought of doin homework
  • got the nerve to tell dadda the news
  • refilled bubba's cat food
  • painted half of the wall
  • cooked real food
  • remembered to pick up britt
  • organized the cereal cupboard
  • cleaned porch area
  • put snowy stuff on hangers
    what still needs to be done?
  • toss back in drawers wash n' dry dirty clothes
  • clean up livingroom skatterness
  • take care'a the garbage mess in yard (stupid dogs)
  • clear out crawl space before dave gets here
  • burn dad a cd with who let the dogs out on it
  • hide junk under beds take time cleanin the rooms
  • keep music downloadin check for calls
  • go visit gramps n' grams for cookies
  • ~~~~~~~....oooo the rush
    ....there's always more
    ...and more
    wilson twinz
    so... ya... if anyone's bored for the summer... try coming HERE for the summer... oh'p.. and dont forget to whistle while ya work eh?...

  • (share your thoughts)

    Subject:just can't make it ......any ...longer....
    Time:1:04 am.
    Mood: sleepy.
    wholey shite... im beat.... drained.... outtta gaaass.... so ya everybody just get all ...snuggled in and tucked good ..... dream those dreams and ..night those mares .... im off to the cribbage of pillow pettin' pleasure ...... nighty night night ..... zZz ...echo echo .. these days feel so .... lost? .... and it CANT be because momma's been gone ... cause jeez im 18 now... and .....jeez... just... nooo haha .... but ahh, the house just seems quieter... and i hate quietness sometimes... so.. dum dee dum .... whatta do whatta do .... sleep is the only way to shut 'r down i guess so hurry up morning .... be here now ... cause ya, somethings feeling wasteful ---- alksjdflkajs and.. ya ya.. pillows here i come..

    Monday, December 29th, 2003

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    Subject:de ja vu?
    Time:11:20 am.
    heyyy.. g'mornin... just woke up and whoa.. de ja vu all over again -- i think im not that lazy today ...just a lil' tingly ..but whoa, this bowl of corn pops should do the body good ..i think i'll be snowmachining all day again ..haha, our cousin robert's already out on the lake.. so me and amanda are gonna go cause some mischief... maybe crash into some cabins or somethin..... so everyone --- go go go go ...have fun fun fun fun.... it's almost new years ..dun dun dun... i had to add this pic of a snowmachine --- incase all you ..ahem YANKEES cough cough ... don't know what im talkin about .... ha he hooo... weeeeee.. haha --- except our's is old and ...not so together/safe...

    Sunday, December 28th, 2003

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    Subject:deal or squeal? ....... or seal take away the real and heal ..not feel... crap im late for my meal..
    Time:3:30 am.
    oh man i cant believe this shite.. our friend laura called us earlier today.. and we were wonderin ..hmmm why would she call eh? ...so ....we called her back.. left her a message to ...call us back ..when she gets back eh ..so ya... la la... im online.... doing my stuff ....get offline to reboot cause it was gettin all slow ... then it wouldnt let me connect --- which means our answerin machine must be full or somethin ..checked 'r out... 9 messages from laura... hmm, what the heck eh ...call her back.... hey.. ya ya.. hey blah blah... she asks what we been up to ...then tells us dawn (step mom) was at her house lastnight partyin and that laura asked her "hey how are the twins?".. (she didnt know about the split) .... dawn said back "ohh i don tknow i havent seen them around they're gettin like their mother being bulimic and alocholics" ..... <-- oh my frickin GOD!!! this is ..just ...hilaarious ..... and ...sick at the same time..... whoa shit... this is some .... NEWS damn right... so we're just.. whoa blah blah... but didnt wanna be too crazy --- just yet, so we asked .... what else what else.. why when where ..na na.. then she goes on sayin ....she went bowlin with erica (my cousin) til 10 then hit the bars (hahaha dawn? bars?)... went home and showered.... the guys called her.... --- wait.. "what guys??" ...hmm ya... the guys ---- kevin and doug? ...what the hell who are those? .....friggg man this is ... hmmm whatever aksljfskldjfklas .... so... asking more eh.... so the guys supposebly called her from laura's... and im wonderin.. wait.. laura's my age for frick sakes ---- this can't be dawn ...... so im thinkin ..how old are these ..fella's? .... she asks her friend tanya ... sounds like some sorority bash or somethin .... late 30's or early 40's i guess.... so hahaa... whoa okay.. hmm... wow ...uhh ... i dont know, i mean sure dawn you can do whatever ya want ..but damn ....our dad still thinks this whole relationship with you and him is gonna work out.... she gets mail, phone calls and everything from him to let her whatever... and she dont call him ever or even let him know squat... unless frick... i dont know ....maybe when she's bored or something?then i hear about this shit... and i dont know it was just really sick to hear this ...like she dont give a damn what he says at all and DOESNT EVEN TELLLLLL HIM ...STRAIGHT OUT ..like damn dawn ..if you dont fuckin love him .... TELL HIM THAT ..before we don't have him in our life... cause i know how he is.. and shite.. if this keeps goin on... akljsdfl this just isn't good. ---- my dad aint easy with shit like this ...and damn, i sure wish DAWN gets a head on her shoulders frickin NOW --- before i .... damn ..... i dont know.. i can be psycho right now ... and it's ...bad ...i need to be locked or somethin cause FUCKKKKKKK pardon my fuckin langgggg.. but uhhh i can just grab her frickin hair and rip it and .... spin her and... bash her against the wall ...and watch her cry and boooo to the fuckin hoooooooooooooo ....BITCH ASS HOE MOTHER FUCKER aksdfkljasdgkljaksdj glaksjgkasj DEAD DEAD DEAD UHHHHHHH... just ...whoaaa im so in that moood to just........ calll'r up right now ...and frick ....inside i know the best way to come bout these things is BE calm and understanding and all ... frickin .. tactful ----- haaa but whoaaa im a steamer...and... shit... i dont think that'd last 2 mins.. before the explosion. and.. u dont wanna see me explode.. it's so fastly put and it'll either make sense or not .. because i can't help but jump from one thing to another when pissyness pops in my brain ..... ooooooo boy... so ya... whoaaaaaaaa .... im just ya know ... im not cryin or anything hahahaha im just ...... laughin in a way that .... wow ....dawn's gonna get hers cause whoa.... what goes up must come down -------- whoa. at this point .... me and amanda.. dont know whether to tell our dad this or what... i just can't believe this all ..went on ..and ...nobody knew about it ..but.. to laura.... it sounded like ...it was completely ...goin on forever... and damn, this doug guy?? he's a good guy laura says... and that just .... kinda ... frig man what the hell .... how long ---- shit... ya.. so... and brittany --- our lil sis.. overheard the phone call ..and she got all confused now ..and now she's sad and ahhh i dont want her to be like this.. and she said that she hates dawn now.. and doesnt wanna go there anymore.. and .... wholey smokes didnt know she'd ever say that... mom .... call anytime soon now ..jeez... whoaaaa ..... fuckity fuckness other than this ..... life is GREAAAAAAAAAT ...and today/tonight FUN! .... sometimes ya think ya know people ....and ..it could be so off --- but.. just to finish this baby off ..... i just wanna say this ..like ....im not on anyones side i thought ..they were both ... at least ... gonna try and work it out eh ..i mean sure i always knew dad was trying harder ..and he was ... well obviously but .. i guess im dumb cause i was hoping too much for dawn to become this better person and be honest about her options and ya know ..if ya feel something say it ...dont keep one hangin by a thread --- or ...something? ............ haha damn i suck at making these blogs TOUCHING so ya.. can't wait to see what .... pops out next ---- dad strong be strong i know you are better ...and i know you know it too ...dont trip dont ...skip and DONT fall for her .... shiiiiiiiiiot. thanks for ...enjoying this ..specially made ..progress of step killing mothers love nicole of pure passion to strangle her one day ------ count to 10 ..... JUST KEEP ON SMILING......

    Saturday, December 27th, 2003

    (share your thoughts)

    Subject:feeling freshly free of focus funnity...
    Time:5:47 pm.
    Mood: bouncy.
    hey whats up.. im very - in my daze - right now... so ya.. gotta focus here....
    sooo...yaaa... today was nuts... pretty cool ya know.. woke up bout ...12ish ..not too bad... and whoa.. ate a lil too much ..haa 3 cinn. bunz anda bowl'a corn pops ....then oops 15 mins later... already in the cupboards mixin' up some tuna sandwhichs... ewwww now that i think about makes the tummy all ...bblahhbity..
    so ya just one'a those days where ya... dream and stare and ..keep staring.... then eat .... and ....keep eating.. and... ooooops ...realize.. ohhh im still eatin shite
    haha.. whoa... plus the whole TV dealio ..gets yer mind off guard and ..whoa poom ting... and ahhh i watched 2 movies in a row today.... a flick called bed of roses, and ... finding nemo with lil sissy brittz ...good times --- and finally have patience for movies now with this new theatre screen tv deal ..just surprised we aint popular yet... haha this is so sweet im on these walky talkys our gramma bought for us to ...communicate to her... if she needs help n' stuff... and boom, i can over hear other peoples convo's and stuff now ...so maybe i'll ...witness some nearby murders or somethin spooky eh?! ...or maybe dirty talks hahaha... right now im talkin to chelsey tanna tracy bob pat and donny ... brings back good times of growin up together .. so i had to pull out some fleetwood mac and play it for'm... "remember the time..." la da da... so ya... speaking of ...fleetwood mac ...our mom left us today... she won't be back for few days.. so we'll be home alone and ... whoa 595 it up... haha jk... ewww porn channel who does that eh? .... well ..haha i'll just flip it on when ... friends are over to be weird... ---- but ya ... mom eh ..she's gone to iowa to pick up dave -- or.. meet him half way? ... can't remember.. alls i know is we're momless for a few days and whoaaaaaa party time la la la..... but it'll just turn out.... us lazin' around the house laughin screamin, dancin, just bein gay... then have'r shined up n' spotless 5 mins before she walks thru that door like usual.... boom chh.

    but ya..... i got the snowmaching runnnning today whoaaa... i love it... it smoked up a lot and the seat fell off when i started goin... it's got bad steering - outta control - not so safe but that's the fun in it ..and challenge and.. whooa just dont know what'll happen.... haha so me and britt crammed on together ...with knees all stickin out ...stalled on the lake in slushy areas ..had to jump of quick give it a jiggle ...then back to zooomin again... im just glad it still works ---
    and it's the same machine we had since MOM AND DAD WERE TOGETEHER .... and ya i just think that's COOL eh. sooooooooo... ya, im just lookin at this house right now ..everythings everywhere... ahh my rooms a mess again and ...living room kitchen shite.. i thought i did the dishes already ... damn haha.. ahh ..i'll get it done ... amanda just got outta the tub ...i think we're gonna get back to makin more songs in a lil bit... we already have 3 made.... our demo should be out come july so... ................ya .....................nevermind ...that sucked.. ahhh... ooo eee oo aaa aaa ting tang walla walla bing bang ...oooo eee ooo aaa aaa ting tang walla walla bing bang! ..

    okay well hope everyone ..still had merry christmas and all that goody comfy stuff
    keep on smiling.. and ....happy new year!

    poof~ nico

    frig .... im missssin' summer ...

    (2 thoughts | share your thoughts)

    Subject:surv it up eh.
    Time:1:10 am.
    Mood: tired.
    * . . . WOULD YOU RATHER . . . *

    1. pierce your nose or tongue? already got my nose... so... tongue
    2. be serious or be funny? seriously funny or .. funnily serious
    3. drink whole or skim milk? 1%

    * . . . A R E Y O U . . .*

    4. simple or complicated? comp ...yet simp

    * . . . D O Y O U P R E F E R . . . *

    5. flowers or angels? chocolate
    6. grey or gray? grey
    7. color or black-and-white photos? black and white
    8. lust or love? love 2 learn/lust 4 life .... but ya, love.
    9. sunrise or sunset? sunset
    10. M&Ms or Skittles? smarties come on now..
    11. rap or rock? rock
    12. staying up late or waking up early? stayin up late... and i realllly gotta stop living this way.. haha
    13. TV or radio? teeev
    14. water or soda? water
    15. eating apples or oranges? oranges now ...cuz they make ya shite!

    *. . . A N S W E R T R U T H F U L L Y . . . *

    16. Do you have a crush? maybe?
    17. Who is it? nonyobiz

    * . . . D O Y O U P R E F E R . . . *

    18. being hot or cold? hot after cold..cold after hot..duhhh - but i do love gettin the chills!
    19. tall members of the opposite sex, or short? anything IM DESPERATE ha.. nooo..
    20. sun or moon? moooon
    21. emeralds or rubies? ewww no.. how bout.. stones,dirt,gravel or..sand
    22. left or right? im always right.
    23. having 10 acquaintances or 1 best friend? 1 best friend
    24. sun or rain? sunnnny .... with lil drips of rain to form the bow...
    26. boys or girls? all in the mood... lately girls.. who knows what tomorrow'll bring..
    27. green beans or carrots? carrots
    28. low fat or fat free? ... fat free ... just cause.. free is ... a good word

    * . . . M I S C E L L A N E O U S . . . *

    29. What is your biggest fear in the world?

    bein misunderstood then start living off other people... cause inside.. ya might think - it's the only way.. but then thinkin .. no it isn't ..then ya get confused cause it is it isnt it is it isnt... to the point where ya get weak and quit... then stick to bein' alone the resta yer life cause it's the easy way --- but ahh, lonely? ..damn haha.. so --- pretty much negative nervous engergy of shoulda coulda woulda'ness attitude ... and not bein able to overcome it? <-- would be my worst fear! hahaha - - - - or maybe it's ..... never lookin like i care, or appreciate enough --- but ya ... this comes with .. "understanding" ... i telllllll ya.. haha

    damn ... i wonder now that i said all this ... if it's what i really meant ...

    30. Kids or no kids? rent or adopt ofcourse ... red and yellow black and white ..they are precious in our sight.... nico loves the lil children of the wooorld..
    31. cat or dog? doggg-eh!
    32. Half empty or half full? jeez it's still thawing.. so it hasn't been poured yet!
    33. Mustard or ketchup? hmm... that's tough... too much ketch gives me the blah.. then whoa.. mustard ...squinty face...
    34. Hard cover books or soft cover books? i like'm hard
    35. Newspaper or magazine? mags
    36. Sandals or sneakers? sandals
    37. Wonder or amazement? ha.. im like wonder woman ...so bring on the amazement!
    38. Red car or white car? red ...dark
    39. Happy and poor or sad and rich? poor but rich... and happpy
    40. Singing or dancing? sing and wiggle
    41. Hugging or kissing? hugs are good...
    42. Corduroy or plain? cordz
    43. Happy or sad? oh man.. happy jeez
    44. Purple or Green? gurple
    45. Blondes, brunettes? blondes that dye to brown cause its funy and...hiding won't help.. haha

    * . . . W H A T D O Y O U W A N T . . . *

    Where do you want to live? anywhere and everywhere... round n round the world of nuttyness.... states jupiter heaven hell ...ahhh ....go go.. --- but hmm, right now seriously .... probably alone to feel something.
    How many kids do you want? oh ya know.. 30 ..40... whatever happens..
    What kind of job do you want? anything comfy and moving... no routines..
    Do you want to get married? ..hmm.. ring? promises? forever? .... jail? ...
    ahh ...shite ... i gotta breathe.

    * . . . W H I C H I S B E T T E R . . . *

    2 doors or 4 (on a car): 4 ...2's for patient ppl..
    Coffee or ice cream? ice cream..
    Shampoo or conditioner? shampoo = grip ... conditioner = soft .... so 2 in 1
    Bridges or tunnels? bridges = freaky dream .... so tunnels..
    One pillow or two? 6

    * . . . W O R D A S S O C I A T I O N . . . *(first thing that comes to mind)

    Rock? da boat
    Green? mile
    Crying? someone
    Peanut? butter
    Roses? tryin to hard
    Summer? life
    Winter? boring..
    * . . . F A V O R I T E S . . . *

    Salad dressing? ranch to ceaser to .. 3 cheez
    Toothpaste? crest? or ..aquafresh ..it changes..
    Toothbrush? plain ol' red one... but i lost that one.. so ..the other red one..
    Alcoholic drink? mouth wash ...ya ya im an indian
    Non-alcoholic drink? milk lately
    Character? me ofcourse..

    * . . . R A N D O M Q U E S T I O N S . . . *

    When was your last hospital check? hmm.. that mornin i fainted.. month or so?
    Where do you see yourself in 10 years? living my dreams ofcourse!!
    Have you ever been convicted of a crime? every now n' then ...
    Name the person that you are friends with that lives the farthest away from you? the ones i talk to most online - k-man,shazzy,kootch n'thump..
    Are you open minded? most of the time... sometimes im just.. confused on how i'd say it out right.. so i ...dont --- but i'll always come back and say what i meant later on ...some point ya know...
    Can you be in love with two people at the same time? sure you can think that but inside there'll be the deeper realer one... ya just might be confused or greedy? and.. if you're inlove with 2 ppl ... that's when ya gotta think... just stay friends and work it there... find out... la la.. common sense eh..
    Love of your life now? ....haha no

    [Name]: nicole wilson
    [Birthday]: dec 17th 1985
    [Siblings]: twin and lil sis
    [Hair color]: brown
    [Eye color]: brown
    [Height]: 5'4
    [Been kissed]: yerp
    [Been in love]: oh love
    [Eaten an entire box of oreos]: haha ya
    [Been on stage]: lots
    [Gotten in a car accident]: not serious but ..bumpity bump ..hit a deer.. sad sorrow
    [Dyed your hair]: used to all the time
    [Choked in front of people on my own spit or drink]: ha ya and tryin to hide it makes it worse...
    [Gone to school in your pajamas]: yep
    [Gotten a detention]: duhh..
    [Loved someone so much that it made you cry]: ha.

    This or that
    [Cold/hot]: cold
    [Blue/red]: red
    [Rain/snow]: rain
    [Give/receive]: give
    [Wool/cotton]: cotton
    [Rose/daisy]: daisy
    [Private school/public school]: pub
    [Chocolate milk/plain milk]: choc
    [Celsius/Fahrenheit] : fahrenheit ...so.. i'll fit right in with all u yankees!
    [Spring/fall]: fall
    [History/science]: science
    [Math/English]: man i need to work on my english...
    [Country/rock]: rock
    [Coke/pepsi]: coke
    [Cherry coke/vanilla coke]: vanilla... camp quetico memz of wakin up early boats and karaoke fun....
    [Sleep/eat]: that's tough.. but sleep! --- that's the whole deal ...if ya think yer eatin ..tooo much ..and ya can't stop ....the cure is ... to sleep ..haha.. it's the only way i tell ya..

    Opposite sex
    [What do you look for in the opposite sex]: someone i can talk to,comfyness,relate to, or.. maybe differences to add more spice and learn ..ya know! but im all about real people.. cause ya if i think u fake ..i'll join the game ..then i'll just get bored... and look more.. haha .... maybe im hypocritin' this question ?? sometimes i just can't help but ..go with my mood ..and right now ..im in for real ..so deal!
    [Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend ]: no

    [Who do you see most often]: out of friends.. haha my twin sister? whoaaaa...
    [Who is your most annoying friend]: jeremiah ...oops
    [Which friend do you wish you saw more often]: hmmm... saw or met?
    [Who do you IM the most these days]: shar
    [Whos the loudest]: erica
    [Whos the shyest]: me? no it can't be me, im never shy - maybe my twin? but wait we're not shy... we just play innocent..
    [Who has the best room]: ussssss man... blown out wall ...patched up hole in ceiling.. whoaa --- still unfinished painted walls .... whoaa'r
    [Who do you trust the most]: mom
    [Whos your best friend]: keith and courtney
    [Favorite friends of the opposite sex]: keith
    [Favorite friends of the same sex]: court shar mom twin and ofcourse brittany jeez
    [One you usually miss]: havent talked to keith in awhile...

    Within the last 24 hours
    [Had a serious talk]: yeah
    [Hugged someone]: no
    [Missed someone]: ya
    [Gotten along with your parents]: yep
    [Fought with a friend]: not really
    [Cried]: no they just water lots cause i dont sleep..
    [Felt empty]: yep.. i need food?

    Do you like to
    [Give hugs]: the thought of it yessssss...but it happens only if im ..comfortable and not ..all gayyy
    [Give back rubs]: ha ...never did before but ya know i will.. and i hurt people i guess haha too into it.. and ...ya... i even clench my jaw when i do it ...what's this mean?
    [Take walks in the rain]: yep

    Friday, December 26th, 2003

    (share your thoughts)

    Subject:S to the L to the double E ....ahhh i gotta go P ... *drip*
    Time:10:22 pm.
    Mood: rushed.
    whoaa.. S L E E P ...

    if i dont get sleep... im done! .... never really knew sleeps that important.. but frig, lastweek i got sleep and those were GOOD DAYS ...this week haha yikes....back to the slopped up mess again! -
    and it sucks when ya lose rhythm ..cause it keeps goin n goin n goin then ya have to reset the "goodness" ....and man, if ya go back again .... same ol' repeated fashion .... ahaha whoa...

    i seriously wonder.. like haaaa.. maaan...

    if i could just push a button that gets me all slept...

    ...i think that it would be a freakin good start on the BETTER me and wow.. living would be so much more... non-headachish, non-lazyish, non-unfunctioningness.. and i'd actually HAAAAAVE the energy to "TRY" ....instead of .... wait n wait n wait ... til' i have haha energy to try.... jeez man im just thinkin this right now
    and.. crap.. DUHHHH <---- the delays of smartness eh....

    well yaaaaa... seee this is why i like to have time alone sometimes
    just to get me back ... to the good, ya know ....like jeez relax ching boom bing .... dun dun dun this and that that and this .... *mind-organization time* .. thinkity think -- okay what's been causing this or ..that.... and boom... i see it... then shite.. gotta fix.. change.. replace.. or somethin... ya know .... so whoa.... after that time's done... i feel good to go back out again... and weeee i'll... probably be all crazy again.. or somethin, and .... ya... i learned that im always gonna need those breaks to fix the mistakes and .... whoa.. seriously... if you see me ..all .....clustered up, in a mess, rushy, or ... not so upbeat
    ... it probably means ... "nicole needs her time" .... and poof ~
    she feels better when people understands too, so she don't feel like they think she aint interested or ... too cool or something

    ..... well ya ---- i just feel like this a lot and i havent ever actually ... worded it up before...

    ..everyone needs their space... it's just.. i seem to always need it
    which aint bad cause ... ya know ---- ya gotta feel good about yerself first and ..all that hunk'a junk'a ..

    ..okie doke... well im gonna go play some guit!

    ...... enjoy .... the ... nightttttttttt ... n i C o l Ewww boogers!

    Thursday, December 25th, 2003

    (share your thoughts)

    Time:9:52 pm.
    hey ah.. im bored i should be offline and talkin to this......... amazing friend of mine... but im not? shite.. i gotta go...

    Wednesday, December 24th, 2003

    (share your thoughts)

    Subject:i should let it out ... it's time to let you go ...i just wanna know
    Time:12:30 am.
    Mood: thoughtful.
    i know it ...
    i know that you truly care for me ..
    cause it's there you see ...

    i wake up every night to see the state im in
    its like an endless star, i never seem to win
    i can't go on, as long as i believe
    i can't let go, well i keep wondering

    where are you now..
    what have u found..
    where is your heart
    when im not around
    where are you now
    u gotta let me know
    oh baby
    so i can let you go

    i can hear your voice
    that brings back yesterday
    it seems to close to me but yet so far away

    LiveJournal for nico rae.

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